Spilled Milk....I did cry over it.

When you have a baby in the Nicu...there is really only so much you can do for them. In my case, there were 2 things....A. love on him every chance I got and B. Becoming a pumping machine so he can have breast milk.  I was/am fortunate enough to be able to have a good milk supply, so for 2 months now, I have been, as Gabe says, running a milk factory.  Every 4 hours I stop what I doing and pump....and pump...and pump. Ok,ok ...most of the time I stop what I'm doing.  Sometimes I sleep right through my pumping, and sometimes I'm a little busy and can't get to it.  And trust me, you don't want to miss a pumping session.  The out come of missing is pretty painful and not worth it.  I have suffered my fair share of mastitis because of missing.... NOT FUN!! Pumping milk is a pretty tough job.  And I one hundred 100% believe that it is worth as much as gold... therefore I believe it is "liquid gold".  Because Brody was in and out of surgeries, had a feeding tube in his mouth for so long, and was having trouble keeping his food in, they were not giving him very much to eat.  Therefore I am WAY WAY WAY ahead of him on milk.  My milk storage has resulted to sending about 130 3-6ox bags to San Antonio for storage and I have about 90 bags here, not to mention what the hospital was storing for me.... either way... its A LOT!!! And if pumping wasn't such a chore, I wouldn't cry over spilled milk.. but THIS DAY I DID... Here's the story...

Friday was our first outing as a family, and it was to a doctors appointment....a very early doctor's apt, and it was nothing short of a DISASTER.
Because the cute little mr decided it was play time at 330 am that morning, for 2 hours, I, A. Didn't get much sleep (again) and B. Slept through my alarm.  So of course we were running late....a very common thing in this house, something which I'm trying to break, and something that I know is weird because Gabe is in the military.  Anyway...back to the story.  As I finally got everything ready - which is A LOT.  5 bags to be exact, I realized that it was his feeding time and my pumping time. Which was easy enough (or so i thought) since he is on a feeding pump.   I would just set up the pump and he would get his food while we drove there.  So, I hook the pump up to his little tummy, and get the food going.  I cover him with a blanket, buckle him in his seat, and have Gabe take him to the car.  10 min later as I am on the phone trying to get an address for this Dr office, Gabe yells for my help.  I go over and he says that I didn't hook up the connections right and milk has been pouring out all over Brody for the past 10 min... OH SHHHH....  We run back in side, grab new clothes to put on him, and I defrost more milk to feed him... after about 15 min of "redressing" and "refeeding"... we are now officially LATE!!!  Spilled milk # 2.  I forgot to mention that at 12am that morning, I ran into our bedroom with Brodys milk bag, and spilled it all over our bed... YES.. at 12am... that was the start of a very long day....

We finally make it to the Dr office exactly an hour late, and get things going.... Did I mention that we have to take 5 bags with us?? A bag with his feeding pump, a bag with his suction machine, a bag with emergency supplies, a diaper bag, and my purse.  I decided to consolidate as much as I could last min before leaving, and that was a bad idea.  I threw diapers, wipes, and pacis in his er bag, to help with the bag load.  As we start getting Brody undressed to be weighed... the little stinker has a MAJOR blow out of his diaper... Im talking BIG... of course it goes all over his clothes, and socks, and since I consolidated, I have NO change of clothes for him, or little stinker would remain naked for the remainder of the apt.....so I hand Gabe the box of wipes and a diaper, and he gives me the clothes to start rinsing off... 1 min later, I get the wipe box handed back to me BECAUSE ITS EMPTY.... I forgot to put wipes in in.... OOOOHHHH SSSHHHHH.... by this time the nurse is probable thinking we are a bunch of idiots and our 2 month old is probably smarter than us.... LORD HELP ME...

The Dr and her team of specialist come in (all female) and start the apt.  Since they are all female, I feel comfortable enough to do my pumping in there while they are talking.  I start putting my stuff together, and realize that I forgot one of the parts to the pump.  WHAT THE H!!! Now what? My boobs are throbbing and Im on the verge of jumping off my ledge!! Half way through the apt, I realize that I can pump one side at a time... I AM BRAIN DEAD AT THIS POINT... so I start pumping.  40 min later, 20 min on each side, Im done... RELIEVED... free for another 4 hours..... I put the bottles of milk down, and start getting our things together.  Stand up, and BAMM... knock over the bottles of milk... all over the floor...all 6 oz... a big puddle of precious white liquid on the floor... WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME.... and of course I turn to Gabe and he is giggling like a little school boy.   I now have one foot off my ledge... Spilled milk #3 for the day.

Finally, we make it back home.  I put B down for a nap, and I lay down with him, but my mind is racing with all the chores I have to do, that I can't sleep.  Finally our nurse arrives for her shift (30 min late) and I can run upstairs to pump and lay down.  20 min of pumping and thinking, and trying not to fall asleep, and I am finally done.  I can lay down for a quick hour before I have to run errands.  I get dressed and BAMMM spill the milk all over the bed AGAIN.... quickly pick it up and place it on the bathroom counter, go to grab a towel and BAMMM knock the bottle off the counter and spill the rest of my precious 6 oz.... Spilled milk #4 and 5 in a matter of minutes....and at this point... IM CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK...

So whoever came up with the phrase "Don't cry over spilled milk" has obviously never has a day like mine....and if you are a pumping mom, and have a day like this... YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CRY... Its MY MILK AND I"LL CRY IF I WANT TOO!!!


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