Thursday, November 14, 2013

Dont say the H word....

The phrase "we are going home" is not something you say until you are in the car driving home....and today 11.12.13, we finally got to say those words.  Something I've waited for, for 11 months.   I said that to Gabe earlier and he was confused about the 11 months.... ummmm hello...9 months of being pregnant and 2 in the hospital.... gggeezzzz that guy sometimes.... he keeps me.on my toes...

Any who..... we made it home... the 1st of many mile stones.  Not to mention, we just closed on our house 4 days ago, moved in over the weekend, and are still in the process of moving in....its been a busy 5 days...But I wouldn't have it any other way.... Brody is home, thats all that matters..... our pfamily life begins now....

OK fast forward to WED 11.13.13... its 11:54 pm and I am finally done for the day. Well almost. I have  9 min left of pumping breast milk.  WHAT A FREAKIN DAY.... thats all I can say.  Did you ever watch that tv show on mtv "The Real World" ? And they used to say "You think you know, but you have no idea"....well thats what I feel like. Ill be real honest.  For 2 months now, I haven't really felt like a real mom.  I didn't get to experience  what most new moms do.  The late night crying, no sleep, up all night trying to feed and keep food down. I got none of that. My days have consisted of sitting in a chair holding my baby, pumping breast milk (saving this topic for another day), learning HOW to take care of my child, and sleep... lots of it...whenever I could....whenever I wanted....thats it.  I left the rest up to the nurses. The wonderful wonderful nurses and doctors.   BUT LAST NIGHT WAS A DIFFERENT STORY..it was my time to shine.

Because Brody has a trach, I have NEVER heard him cry... nothin, not one peep....its a sound that I have longed for since I found out I was pregnant.   The only way I know if he is in distress is by the "gunky" "mucus" sound coming out of his trach.  So most of my sleep was really me lying there wondering if I just couldn't hear the gunk and hoping he was ok.  I thought I knew about sleepless nights, but I had no idea until last night....

I will be back to finish this blog tomorrow.... MUSt.GET.SLEEP.


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